Wrecked

There are moments in life, brief moments - when you feel like you're connected to something bigger than your little comfortable piece of the world. I had one of those moments on Friday, and I'm still not sure I can put into words what the experience was like. I have a feeling that the other 180,000 people who experienced the same moment at the Global Leadership Summit are also having the same difficulty.

As the youngest daughter of an affluent Egyptian family in Cairo's Coptic community, Maggie Gobran was deeply changed the first time she saw her city's burgeoning slums. Her answer has been Stephen's Children, a ministry she founded 12 years ago to help the estimated 500,000 families who survive by living in the ancient city's five sprawling garbage dumps.

Before Mama Maggie (as she is known to those she serves) spoke to the group of leaders assembled at Willow Creek and at satellite host sites around the world, a video began displaying images of extreme poverty these families (half a million!) face every day. The Copts use the garbage to survive, both by selling what useful scraps they can find, and eating what remains of someone else's discarded, often rotten food. The images were disturbing, but they did nothing to prepare me for what happened when the video stopped.

As the lights came up on the platform, there she was - this little slip of a woman, dressed from head to toe in white. She was hunched over the simple wooden podium, which was only a little smaller than she was and she gripped the top of it as she stood. As the audience welcomed her with applause, she hunched lower, and lower. With each inch that she bowed, the audience applause grew until it was absolutely thunderous. What was it about that moment that still makes me weep, even today - two days later?

Quiet, unassuming and certainly unexpected - this woman is a picture of the Jesus Christ that I serve. She carries with her the quiet voice that speaks hope to thousands and delicate hands that can bring healing to a forgotten child's heart. For 30 minutes, her soft-spoken voice held 180,000 leaders from around the globe completely riveted to their seats. No one moved, or dared breathe, in case we might miss one word. The Spirit of the Living God was thick in the air and the only sounds were from muffled sobs and sniffs as the full weight of Mama Maggie's words gripped our hearts. Here's a powerful sample that still doesn't do justice to her whole message:

"The truth is that any of us could have been born poor. We don’t choose where to be born. But we do choose either to be sinners or saints…to be nobody or be heroes. If you want to be a hero, do what God wants you to do."

It was a moment I don't ever want to forget.

Dawn

If you Google Maggie Groban, you will find hundreds of bloggers trying to make sense of that moment, like I am today.  

It's a new day, a new blog!

Thunder is rolling outside and a beautiful August monsoon is on its way to my house.  The perfect Sunday afternoon spent with my hubby and thanking God for all the blessings he's lavished on us.  The week is full of new possibilities and challenges...are you ready for it?

Me neither.  :-)

Hey, if you used to follow my other blog - and you know who you are - make sure and switch over to this one.  I wanted to expand the topics more, so I created "radio daisies".  Hope you enjoy.

I like how he thinks...

Try something different when it comes to “rewarding” yourself for all your hard work with your diet and exercise. You don’t always have to use food as a reward. It could be giving yourself your own makeover by shopping for a new outfit, a haircut, or a mani/pedi.

                                       - Bob Harper

Slowly, Slowing, Slowest

This is such a slow process. Probably because I'm an avid Biggest Loser watcher (hate Hannah's hair, want her or Olivia to win) and amazed weekly at the rapid success each contestant has. Then I am quick to remind myself that they don't go to work for eight or nine hours a day - their weight loss is their full time job. So no wonder!

It's been over a month since my last blog and a lot has happened, including a dislocated rib (did you know we had "floating" ribs? me neither.) that kept me away from the gym and in a fair amount of pain for a couple of weeks. As of last week, I'm back on track and in much less pain. Still, I look back over the calendar and see that in terms of progress - three weeks have been absolutely lost. For a while, I really let that fact get to me and play with my emotions. Then I realized that life is full of  setbacks that aren't the result of laziness or failure, but rather the evidence of living a real life. That energizes me, because I want my life to be full, rich and real.

So here we are at the start of a new week. Today I'm preparing menus for the week, working out, cleaning a little bit, waiting for the bug guy to come and kill our bugs and being just generally psyched for a new opportunity to make progress on my goals. AND, I'm planning an extreme makeover of my own...short, sassy hair and all...happening later this month. Stay tuned.

New Week, New Attitude!

I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on him

I have put my hope in his word. - Psalm 130:5

Four weeks now have passed since The Week - I remain so grateful to God, who hasn't let me give up on myself.  Since I started The Journey in January, I've lost ten pounds (six of them in the last four weeks).  What I've gained is a LOT of strength and endurance, which was one of my high priority goals.  That feels pretty good.

Added 30 minutes of cardio this morning, hoping to do that each morning this week, buildng on what I started last week.  Working out each evening is great, but I'd like that little jump start to my metabolism first thing in the morning.

So, it's going to be a good week - not because of the workouts, or the weight loss, or anything else - but because God is good.  When you live in America, have a beautiful roof over your head, food in your cupboard, a job that pays the bills and you serve a loving and mighty God...how can you expect anything else but a good week?

And a new pair of shoes - did I mention that?

Ever Have One of Those Days?

Those days are the times when the heat gets turned up on our commitments.  Commitments to ourselves and to others.  This week has been a week full of those days.  Still, there is no looking back.  Out of 22 days that have passed (not counting Sundays), I've worked out 19 of those days.  Are you kidding me?  No wonder the enemy is trying to beat up on me.  I'm kicking butt!

Still....I can't wait until this week is over.  :-)

So many thoughts, so little time...

It's tough to put it all down on cyber-paper.  This adventure I'm on to hit the reset button on 45 years of bad habits takes a lot of concentration and thought.  But man, does it feel good.  Working out very consistently now, six days per week for at least 30 - 45 minutes per day.  Meeting lots of lovely people and oddly enough - God's given me the privilege of a little ministry right there at the Curves I now belong to.  It happened right after my last post, "Don't talk to me while I'm sweating."

Apparently, God thought that post was hiLARious, because the very next day one of the girls at the gym ended up talking to me about a problem she was facing, and God gave me the right words that night.  And the night after that.  And the night after that.  And last night.  I'm humbled by the thought that He's rewarding me with a ministry right there, where I seem to be spending so much time.  He is truly awesome.

The other cool/weird/mildly interesting thing that's happened in the last week is that more and more people are learning about this journey that I've started.  I guess when you walk around all day with a BodyBugg strapped to your arm, people ask questions (right, Joy?).  :-)

In a way, it's a good thing because it holds me accountable to a lot of people who are watching.  But, it's also a bad thing because it holds me accountable to a lot of people who are watching.  I still don't have the guts to share a blog post on FB, but maybe someday. 

Being intentional takes a lot of effort.  You have to fight for it.  If it's important to you, it's important for a reason.  End of story, no need for justifying, whining or pondering.  This is what I tell myself.  It's not about all the drama that usually goes on in my head when I'm thinking about life.  It's about, "get your butt up and start moving."  So I do.

Don't Talk to Me While I'm Sweating...

Chances are - if you hear me huffing and puffing in a gym while seeing beads of sweat drip down my neck - I'm a little busy and don't really have the time or desire to chat it up.  I would've thought this was an unwritten rule - call it "workoutiquette," or something like that.  But I smiled and tried not to appear impolite as the following subjects were covered:

• Empty nesters and the college dropouts that come home to roost
• New age influence in the Portland, Oregon area
• How many people have come down with "what's going around"
• Did you know that the manager has a new boyfriend?

After half an hour at the "Gab and Sweat," I rushed home from the workout for a personal coaching session with someone from BodyBugg.  This thing is AMAZING!!  I consider myself fairly tech-savvy, and this girl was showing me stuff that I had no idea it could do.  It almost makes you work harder so you can play more with the data after you upload it. 

Almost.  :-)

The New Normal

Here's a weird thing:

Monday, I absolutely killed it on the circuit.  Left nothing behind.  In 30 minutes, I burned over 500 calories (according to my new little friend, the BodyBugg, which I will blog about later). After the workout, I was stretching and feeling pretty good and I thought to myself, "Wow, I missed this feeling yesterday." [Sunday is a rest day from workouts]

That's when it occurred to me that resetting my priorities has led to the development of "the new normal." 

Then tonight - watching The Biggest Loser and hearing the trainers talk to the contestants about changing their thinking and fighting back against the self-talk - really sort of cemented that concept in my head. 

This is the new normal and I like it.

Finally - Day Five

Today is Saturday and that means The Week has come to an end.  Did I accomplish everything on my list of goals for the week?  Uh, no.  Sadly, #9 (wash and detail my car) and #10 (hose off the back patio) will have to wait for another day.  But here are a few highlights of what did happen:

Five days of intense workouts
Five days of no processed sugar
Five days of keeping meticulous track of calorie intake
Five days of eating whole foods
Five days of almost constant conversation with God
And finally, on the last day - the revelation of what it truly was all about. 

I was standing at the kitchen sink yesterday afternoon, dealing with the pile of guilt - er, I mean...dishes - that had been stacking up over the past two days.  It was then that God chose to reveal what I hadn't yet been able to reason out.  The Week wasn't about perfection, or endurance, or any of the things that I had worried weren't happening.

The Week was about proving to myself that I could do it.

See, God knew I could do it (course correct my life) all along.  My husband knew I could do it, and was cheering me on at every step.  But somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn't believe it.  Too many past attempts and failures, I guess?  Things and events that the enemy of our faith uses to knock us down, time after time.  No more.

For the first time...in a long time:  I believe in me. 

Day Three

Well, yesterday was day three of what I am now calling The Week.  Day two passed much as day one, which I've already blogged about.  Day three was different.  I started to panic that I was wasting too much time!  "You're off for a week," the little voice in my head (one of many) told me.  "Why aren't you cleaning the house, doing laundry, getting on top of that to-do list?"  I had no answer for the voice.  In a way, I wish I would've started The Week with a clean house, laundry all done - so that maybe it wouldn't have been an issue. 

Do you ever feel that way?  Like you can't get your act (and by "act," I do NOT mean external things) all together unless everything is just so?  I honestly used to believe that I couldn't spend time talking to God or reading His word as long as there was dust in the house, or if my bed wasn't made.  It was like I thought that the dirt somehow prevented Him from hearing me or even having an audience with me.

Over the years, though - I've learned that God cares little about the dishes piling up in the sink.  Today was one of those days.  Sitting at His feet, I sense His presence and see His smile through the clouds.  Today is a good day.

Day One

The first butt-kicking of the week came at the hands of a sweet little trainer.  She assured me (lied) that this would be an easy workout and that I'd have plenty of energy for the rest of the day.  Liar.

Then, after the butt-kicking came the beatdown.  This time, (different gym) he (why are all trainers under the age of 25?) showed me how to use the elliptical trainer (at my request - I thought it would be "fun").  It was fun, at first - but after ten minutes, I couldn't feel my legs.  I wobbled off the elliptical, in search of the meaning of life and a machine with a seat (not necessarily in that order).

In case you're wondering what I'm doing this week... I am working out approximately two hours every day at two different gyms, and forcing myself into a high level of activity during the rest of the day.  I'm hitting the reset button on years of indifference and invincibility.  It's working.

Are you worth it?

Why are new things sometimes so annoyingly painful?

Next week, I am trying a new thing.  A whole week, dedicated to the pursuit of hitting the reset button on my life.  I've never done anything like it before, and am not sure how to set goals or expectations, lest they both be dashed.  For context, let me introduce you to Joy.

I met Joy last summer when she came to town to focus on her health.  Basically, she took two months off from her life back east (with the loving and full permission of her family) to get away, and jumpstart her spiritual and physical health journey.  She joined a gym, hired a trainer, and focused solely on eating right, exercising and spending time alone with God.  I admired that intentional effort so much - she was (and is) a marvel to me!  She course-corrected her life, something that I am badly in need of.

Since Joy's time here, I always lamented the fact that I could never do that.  Not being a teacher, my work schedule would never permit two months away, summertime or otherwise.  But since the beginning of the year, this thought has been circling my brain:  "You might not be able to do two months, but how about one week?"

Now, I know myself - real well - and one week is NOT enough time to correct 45 years of wrong thinking, screwed up priorities, and being allergic to exercise.  But if not now, when?  For once in my adult life, I have decided:

I am worth it.

I am worth taking a week off.  I am worth spending time to realign my priorities and commitments.  I am worth every effort that I can spend in order to be the wife and friend God wants me to be.  A ministry leader I greatly admire once asked the question, "Which is right - to ask God to make you a better person, or to ask Him to make you a new person?"  Better is good...but I choose new.

My prayer for next week is:  Lord, show me what you want me to do and help me to rely completely on your strength to do it.

I'll keep you posted.  That is, if I have any strength left in my arms to type.  :-) 

The Five of Clubs

I was in the salon a few weeks ago, and my hair gal had just put the cape on me, then disappeared (as they all do) to mix up her magical hair potion (highlights). As I looked into the mirror, I had one of those “Barbara Walters Moments.” You know, when she asks a guest, “If you were a tree…what kind of tree, etc.?” I thought to myself:
                If you were a playing card, you’d be the five of clubs.

Follow my logic on this one. I have a cape covering my entire seated body. I see two lumpy things on top (the girls), two lumpy things on bottom (knees) and one lumpy thing in the middle (belly). A five of lumps…er, clubs.

I think it was in that moment that I actually decided enough was enough. Mind you, I’d decided enough was enough many, many times - but that day was different somehow.

If you’re a five of lumps like me, you are invited to join me on a journey I’ve not yet taken in life - at least, not seriously. I don’t plan on getting surgery (too scary), going on NutriSystem (too poor) or auditioning for The Biggest Loser (are you kidding me?). We’re going to do this old school, with lots of hard work and sacrifices. Sounds fun, huh? :-) Well, you know what they say - if it were easy, everyone would be doing it!